The past couple of months I have been conducting a series of experiments. And what I have found has been enlightening and sometimes predictable, yet extremely helpful. I share these lessons and tips to all those other [single] females out there just trying to find the right guy, and never settling for the douche bags. Girls, listen carefully :]
Lesson One. It's true that guys want what they can't have.
I find this by doing something extremely simple. I hang out with a dude with more than just one girl around. This is a method. You see, by making yourself appear extremely available is one thing, but by also throwing more females in the situation you give the one dude options. Yes, the day/night might have started out just being about the two of you, but now the only thing running through his head is "oh man, which to choose, which to choose". Because of course guys think that one of the chicks automatically want him. HOWEVER, as soon as you leak the detail that you are seeing another guy, or texting, or calling another guy, the attention that might have been on someone else, nonchalantly but definitely directs toward you. You might even get a little, "Are you really going to go out with that dude?" And be fully prepared for him to make a move on you as well. This, in fact, is not him showing his feelings for you. It's a competition with "the other dude" that he doesn't even know. Once you let him succeed, he has won. He will not want to date you the next day.
So ladies, keep YOUR pimp hand strong, keep doing what you're doing, and don't let him touch you. The second we let them get their way, is the second we lose.
Lesson Two. Never settle.
All us girls have a sort of blue print for their perfect significant other. Sometimes it seems like it can be impossible to find your Prince. Men will constantly out you down for having high expectations. They will tell you that you have your head in the clouds, and a few will have the nerve to utter the words, “Chivalry is dead, sweetheart.” This is the easiest lesson you will ever learn- turn around and walk away. Your woman intuition is telling you to do just that, and you will regret not listening to it.
So ladies, NEVER let a man interfere with your hopes and dreams. For yourself, and your future. Never let a man get into your head and let you think for a second that you deserve less than what you want. Every woman is a Princess and deserves to be treated as one. DO NOT settle for a man until he fights to be your Prince.
Lesson Three. Genuinely liking the guy doesn’t get the guy.
This is easy. The girls worth having those few good guys that there are out there, are the ones with pure hearts that just want to find true love. But the nice girls just never get the guy, do they? The nice guys are always with the trouble making whores, and the nice girls are always with macho jerks. So why is it that the good guys and girls can’t find each other? I’ll tell you, guys [and girls] like a challenge. If they know for sure that something is easy, it’s expendable. Men want to be intrigued. They don’t want to know your feelings, they don’t want to know how honest or reliable you are. They couldn’t care less about your past, and only care about your sex appeal and how you’re saying the things you’re saying, or doing the things you’re doing. No matter how much you could like or even love a guy, it won’t be enough for them one way or another. You’re either not sleeping with them, or too intense for their liking.
So ladies, keep that guard up! If you are tired of the games and are truly looking for husband material, you better never let that come out of your mouth. Men will eat that vulnerability up and spit you back out. Your heart will break, and you will only keep losing faith in finding the one. YOU call the shots. YOU decide what you want to do with the current guy you’re with. Keep your true intentions to yourself until the right guy comes along that WANTS to know you that deeply, and don’t be fooled by the guys that just act like they care to get in your pants.
Lesson Four. Never get deep with a friend you’re in too.
I’ll keep this one as simple and to the point as I can. We all have friends of the opposite sex, and some are closer than others. And at one point or another you might find yourself thinking that your feelings might exceed those of a strictly friendly nature. You might confide in this person sometimes, and even let it get to a point where you are telling them your darkest weaknesses. THIS IS A MISTAKE. Your feelings will quickly fool your head into thinking he cares about you because he listens. He’ll tell you how proud he is of you and your honesty, and how honored he is to be the one you can talk too. But the next day it’ll be like it never even happened. Thinking you just got closer, you’ll try to hang out again, and it won’t happen. Congratulations, you have fooled yourself and lost a friendship all in one.
So ladies, don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. As much as it sucks to say, there really are not that many people you can trust in this dog eat dog world, not even your closest friends. The majority of humans are self seeking and only care about their own happiness and pleasure. Therefore, you can never fully let your walls down to anyone. You won’t get the satisfaction you want until you are relaying your struggles to someone who genuinely cares about you. Be smart.
Lesson Five. Insecurities will ALWAYS be the death of you.
Now this was something that I thought could have gone one of two ways. On one hand, I have learned that guys can be in to the timid girls that underestimate themselves. To guys, they can feed off of those insecurities to make themselves feel more powerful. They can use your own insecurities against you, and they will. However, on the other hand, insecurities, [and in this case] will always push the guy away. This experiment was a little difficult to conduct. I went out with a guy that I knew was talented in music and voice. He was older than me, which would be a good obvious reason why it would be believable for me to be intimidated by him. While we spent time together, he played music for me and of course didn’t skip a beat in showing every skill off. But, when I played for him, I hesitated, mentioned how nervous I was to be playing around him, messed up a couple times (but made sure to laugh at myself adorably), and said a simple “you have no idea how hard it is to be this vulnerable to you.” But in all actuality, I am extremely confident in my voice. I love singing in front of people, and on certain occasions, have even used my voice to get my way. Yeah, you may think that’s a little vindictive, but it’s human nature to use our strengths for our greater good (humans are the worst). ANYWAYS, the point is, music isn’t one of my weaknesses, it’s something that always brings me to life. But as I was breaking in front of him, he was obviously feeling high above me, and I could sense him backing away. He had openly admitted to being interested in me, and was blatantly flirting with me and even took me to dinner earlier that day, but then soon pulled the “I know you might like me, but the only reason I came over here was to play music. A relationship just isn’t what I’m looking for at the moment.”
So ladies, confidence is your best feature. Confidence is the fastest way to have your way with any one you want! Be yourself, and never think for a second that the guy you’re with is out of your league. Keep the control at your finger tips, HE is lucky to be with YOU! The second you cave, is the second you lose.
So beautiful people, we have to stay strong. This is only a man’s world if WE let it be. I will never back down, and I will never give up. This isn’t a game to me, but if men continue to play me for a fool, I’ll play them even harder back.
Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
Much love <3
